We Just Disagree…
In the past week I’ve had some very interesting discussions among family and friends regarding issues that have arisen in media. What I love about this discussion is that while there is passion and discord, there is civility in the tone to which the debates occur. Civility. There is a word that seems to be missing in our vocabulary in our society today. It seems that our passionate debates and differences take on heated exchanges in public squares. One side feels that it must shout down another to be heard, while the other combats with their own style of vile bile of discord. Is this how we move forward? What is the point of blaming either side? How do we move forward on these issues if we spend the energy in blaming each other or shouting down the message?
Our freedom speech allows us in this country the ability to express ourselves. It does not us give us the right to feel as if our side is right over another. If we as a country are going to move forward we need to find common ground on which we can stand and understand that everyone has a right to stand for their values. Respect is given when respect is shown. It is not a difficult concept to understand. I find those who lack the civility in their argument to be lacking the ability to have a valid argument in the first place. For me, I hear better when you are not raising your voice. The louder the voice, the more I seem to tune out the discussion. Our forefathers fought for our freedoms, and they could never have imagined the discord we would face in our society today.
This post isn’t a political statement, rather, it’s a statement about those standing tall in the saddle about ones values. It should be respected when a leader or anyone for that matter has the fortitude to stand up and not waiver to public opinion to push aside their principles to appease one group or another. We should applaud the convictions of anyone who is willing to be true to themselves. Rather than cast stones we should value their principles and admit that we can respect their faith and disagree in civil tones.
My friends and family could maybe teach others a bit about this kind of discord. We come from all faiths, all walks of life and different points of view. We may not see eye to eye on issues but at the end of the day, we agree to disagree and respect each other for having the conviction and courage to stand in their values and principles. Our society should be so lucky to have such outstanding citizens and leaders with such great character.
Here, here, Jen! Agree! We need to find the common ground in a civil way. It is the only way problems can be solved and issues resolved. We need to raise up civility as a worthy principle again. Jon
I agree, Jon. To solve issues on the big stage, we all need to find ways to see each other POV with grace and civility. Our diversity is what makes us strong and if we can see that each of us has a great value, find where we can have those conversations in civil tone, I think we can reach solutions faster. Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it greatly.
Well said!
Thanks, Joy.
I love love love this! Civility does not mean you have to accept and adopt another’s veiw – that is commonality. Civility is understanding that another person has a right to a different view but still treating them with respect and kindness whether you agree with them or not. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what you believe especially when you know you will take the heat. Like you, I think that civil dialog has been replaced with debate. Debate in itself is not bad, but its goal is to “win”. When that is the goal, then sides will never come together. It is possible to agree to disagree – there is just so much pride and sense of “me” that gets in the way.
Love and would love to find a way to be able to ask folks who INSIST on not dropping it to stop it! LIke pit bulls who think it is their purpose in life to pick and pick and pick. Civility does not work with them.
Yeah, it helps to not care and walk away then
Thanks, Michele. I agree with you regarding those who cannot appear to drop an issue. Once you agree to disagree, that should be the end of the subject. There are some who cannot just walk away from a topic. I always seem to believe it’s a “them” issue not a “me” issue at that point.
Thanks, Angie. True, civility is not about having to accept their POV. We understand where they are coming from and respect their position. It does take courage to stand up for ones values and principles. I admire those who are stick to their guns so to speak and do not allow others to change their values to go with whichever way the wind is blowing politically or with public opinion. One who has integrity must be one who walks their convictions and no matter the cost will not waiver in their values. We must maintain civil tones in these troubled times. Debate is not a bad thing, but to do so with decorum and dignity for each person. Winning is not the outcome, the outcome needs to be coming to a solution that works for both sides and compromise should be the word of the day and the “win” that we seek in our debates. Thank you so much for comments. I appreciate it greatly.
Jen – AMEN! It seems that most would rather argue than listen, would rather point fingers than acknowledge that they might have any part in the issue – and the rest of look like we are watching a tennis match. Thanks for the reminder!
A tennis match. That’s a perfect analogy for what is happening at the moment. I get whiplash just watching some of what is happening in our society at the moment. There is no point is arguing with those who rather hear the sound of their own voice than taking the time to hear the point of view of the other side. The blame game as I say never has a winner. Thanks, Georgia.
Brilliant post, Jen! I see civility as an individual’s responsibility to be kind and to act with respect, even when one wholeheartedly disagrees with another’s point of view. I’ve been thinking a lot about civility in corporate cultures – and your insights further my understanding of where I’m going with this train of thought. Thank you!
Cheers!
C.
Thank you, Chris. I’m so glad you dropped in to comment here. Very honored. Indeed, this extends to our corporate cultures. Civility is at the core respect and kindness towards others. We may not agree with each others but at very least we can respect the persons point of view, opinion and be gracious. Cheers to you, Chris. Namaste.
Was just talking to my mom about this and the penchant for labeling people, groups, ideas, whatever… by lumping people into groups or putting labels on them we dehumanize them making it easier to shut out their point of view. Easy trap to fall into. Thanks for tackling this important topic.
Fantastic post – when you really listen to the other opinion you actually learn more about your opinion. One of 2things happen – you better articulate your POV with better facts or examples or you find out where you may have some holes in your logic. I always like hearing the opposite opinion and not just hearing it but understanding it
Thanks, Scott. I agree, labels put people into boxes, and that’s not something we should do with anyone or thing. It is a trap. We want to shut out what we do like or approve, it’s too easy and what is important to try to find common understanding and appreciate all sides. You may not agree but at the end of the day, we need to respect the point of view we each have for certain issues. The more we can show respect, the further we can make progress.
Thanks, Jim. I agree with you. It does sharpen your POV when we really hear the other POV, we discover what we are missing in our perceptions. I like to have all counterpoints to my own so that I know that I’m not just one sided in my views. Great points. Thank you.