Own It….#bealeader
If there is one creed I live by it is this – I own my mistakes. I don’t sugar coat it. I own it. If didn’t live up to any expectation or obligation, I own it. I admit it hard truth and all. I don’t dance around it and give a song and dance as to why I didn’t complete a project, I admit it. And if there is one thing that drives me nuts – people who do not. Now, I do not live in a fairy tale world where I expect others to live by this creed. In the real world others do not play the same rules. Everyone lives by their own principles – we all have different rules we play by and we have to accept that each of us are different. When someone disappoints us, we have accept it, even if it’s a hard pill to swallow, we must deal with it. Not everyone is going to live to our rules or expectations. The world is not according to our rules.
This discussion circles to the term personal accountability. To be accountable for ones actions is of high importance and great integrity. It speaks to our values and our morals. If we are accountable to ourselves, we then can be accountable to others. How can you trust yourself if you do not live up to the expectations you place upon yourself? How can then expect others to trust you?
Reputations are built on these moments of accountability. Each moment in your day where you can show the world that you live up to your own expectations and achieve your own set of goals and plans, it teaches others that you can be trusted with their expectations and goals within you. You set the table for others to trust you. Even small moments give others the ability to place faith in you. Your choices define you. Even the choices you may think are so small and not consequential are ones that others see that make the difference in whether or not they chose to place their trust in you. And one of the biggest displays of faith is when you make a mistake. We want to see how you handle it. Do you own it or do you lie about it? This is an opportunity to build your reputation. This is a chance for you to shine a light on your own personal accountability. How will you decide to handle it? Do you display honesty in the moment of the mistake or do you cover it up? These are the moments we remember the most and these are the moments that define ourselves to ourselves – we remember how we acted when the mistakes happen more than our success, because mistakes live with us longer.
Will you own it or will you lie your way out of it?
Jen, I couldn’t agree more. A quick illustration of how I lost respect for someone who didn’t own their (really our) mistake.
I was on a team that put together user settings for a program that was used by many people. We discovered one setting was causing a problem, quickly fixed it and sent an email to notify everyone. Before I could send the email my boss asked who was on the list. Everyone, I said. Well take off the managers we don’t want to look bad.
I couldn’t believe it and in my eyes it was just the opposite, by admitting the mistake, fixing it quickly and informing everyone I thought we looked good.
Good on you, AJ. The quicker you respond, the better. You have own your mistakes – the faster the better before it festers into a bigger issue. My issue is too many people let mistakes linger…and then it gets worse. If you own it, fess up – the truth always heals faster. I have more respect for those who tell the truth, own it and take the responsibility for mistakes than those who just go silent than those who cover it up.
Own it. Always. Cheers! Kaarina
Thanks, Kaarina! Yes, we must own it!
Great post Jen. I still have the most trouble with trying to accept when people willfully and intentionally lie to me/others at my expense and to protect themselves. (best friend, boss, significant other, etc) It galls me the most when it happens with someone I care about.
When it happens and they don’t own it. Yet continue to lie. It’s heartbreaking for me. I ride all the waves of emotion; shock, disappointment, confusion, etc. And most of all, I wind up tripping over thoughts of ‘why didn’t they value me enough to be honest with me?’ Or why didn’t they value me enough to want to clean up the trespass between us from the lies? When I find out that I valued the other person more then they valued me, it hurts. There’s no getting around it.
More times then not, I have not wanted to lose relationships with any of these people. I wanted things to be restored. And we can’t make anyone else do that or to want to do that no matter how much we want it.
And yes, I do my best to own it. Especially when it comes to the truth. It’s that important. I may not always be ‘right’. No one will always be ‘right’. However, the truth is so important when it comes to relationships and trust.
I only wish it was easier for me to accept when people don’t live up to MY expectations to tell the truth! ARGH! haha
It is hard to accept when those whom we have trusted have been the ones who have not own up to their mistakes or lied to us. We have to accept that not everyone plays by our rules in life. It isn’t about us – it’s them. We cannot control others – we have to live by our rules and accept that we didn’t cause the issue. We live up to our expectations and we are accountable for ourselves. Those who cannot be accountable we have to accept their fate – they have to live with their own guilt and shame. We have to let go of the pain they have caused us and be willing to forgive ourselves – the best of us get fooled by those who have no accountability or integrity.