You Will Never Please Everyone, So Stop Trying…
You are not going to be liked by everyone. You will have enemies. You will have those who will throw stones at your success or failure. The reality of life is not everyone will be your friend or fan. Why then do so many folks waste their time with trying to please everyone? It is a futile effort. When you get to a stage in life, maturity, you look back at all the times you tried in vain to please everyone and looked for approval for your art, your work, hell… your life from complete strangers who didn’t really matter in the long run. Instead of having regret of those moment, reverse the curse now and stop trying to make everyone like you.
Focus On What Matters Not What Doesn’t
Once you stop trying to please everyone, you find that you have clarity in your purpose. You have a mission to serve those people who value you, to serve your audience and clients who are loyal to your success. You have to clear the decks every so often to ensure you are maximizing your time for these people and projects. If you are off your game and distracted by those who do not serve any other purpose than take you out of the game, you are missing the opportunity to be on task. Put yourself in another’s shoes for a moment. How would you feel if someone you needed was off trying to please someone else who hasn’t been as supportive as you? Clear out the distractions, get rid of the toxic people and time suckers who always there to take you out and focus your attention, your talents where they are needed.
We all fall victim to distractions from time to time; it’s a sign that we need to get back on track. I know of late I’ve been in this boat. I allowed others with ill intentions to take my time and zap my energy. I took the bull by the horns and cut them out of my line of sight. I feel better, the stress is lifted and my energy is back. I know that I will back in form and be able to give myself to those who need me.
Do you try to please others? How do you combat it? Would love to hear your thoughts.
I have always loved the quote, but cannot remember who actualy coined it: “I don’t know the formula for success, but I do know the formula for failure; and that is to try to please everyone!”
Its spot on.
All this rubbish is just wasted energy. I have a sign on my office wall. It is the original I have had since I first wrote it down over 20 years ago and it stemmed from something I told a team of salespeople in 1992. Since then I have always included it in every sales training program and course…
…”Some will, Some won’t, So what?…NEXT!”
As leaders we should never do things for our people just because we want something back but when we discover ulterior motives in those people then it can shake us. We open our door to allow people who want to align themselves with us to learn and grow only to find occasionally that we have people who’s intentions were not great. We cut them off quickly and cleanly, with no delay, as to keep them would cause a problem not only to us but to the rest of the team.
One day they will want us, and they will find that door that was open is now firmly closed.
Great, cathartic, post Jen…Some will, Some won’t, So what…NEXT!
I like that, Dave. The world is full of a diverse group of folks. We can’t waste time focusing our energy on those who are on a mission to drag us down. It’s not fair to the ones who lift us up and help us build our success. You just need to know who is with you and who is against you – and put down boundaries to keep those who aren’t helping you out of the way. Great comment as always, Dave. Thanks.
…And that brings us right back to trust.
I feel that it is a sad lesson… that I can only truly trust my self. My passion. My vision. My motives.
I agree that Bill Cosby had it right, “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” I love that you were able to pin-point what was actually trying to drag you back or down, Jen and that you reacted with strength and integrity… but I also feel bad that anyone would try to throw obstacles in the way of something “GOOD.”… I mean, isn’t that exactly why we are here?
This is what I do not understand, on any level. The good, is what we work so hard for. Not simply to line our own pockets or make our own lives easier or cushier… but to do good for the whole of us. How can that not be what anyone wants? Does it matter, really, who’s idea or plan it is?
The title forced me to read this. Splendid point ! Its a lesson which I learn’t the hard way & it was hard to accept…
I made my peace with it by acknowledging that life is short (relatively!) & its better to spend time & potential on activities/people which make you happy !
Good for you. Life is short and the time we have should be spent on people that need your value not those who will waste it.